Holla if you hear some heteronormativity! Thursday, Nov 20 2008

So today’s post, which was a long time in coming, is about the instance of heteronormative assumption that I encountered today in my literature course.  While discussing a short story involving a female mortician, the professor decided to ask one of the other students if he would date the woman from the story.  To which question, I simply rolled my eyes and thought, Way to assume everyone’s straight, signore.

Immediately after the other student’s response (a resounding “no”), the professor then turned to me and asked the same question.  I stared at him blankly for about six seconds before this happened:

Me:…Umm…no?

Professor:  Why is that?

Me:  Umm…

Professor:  Is it because of the same reasons that Mr. Allen said?

Me:  Sure, let’s go with that.

Meanwhile, I was thinking that I should have said:

Me:  BECAUSE I LIKE PENIS IN MY ASSHOLE, NOT COOCHIE ON MY DICK!!

But that would’ve been a tad unsavory.  So, let’s just share for fun our stories about heteronormative influence on our everyday lives.  it’ll be fun, or something.

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Advice from some gay guy: Where to stick your penis in a vagina, furrealz. Monday, Nov 10 2008

There are two openings in the vaginal area.  One is the urethra (which will also expel liquid during a “squirt” orgasm), and the other is the actual vaginal opening (the uterus is up in there somewhere, working its evil).  The latter hole is where you stick your penis.  If you want my advice though, boys, then play with the clit for a while which is beneath the clitoral hood.  It’s like an itty-bitty button.  And, though there is variation from girl to girl, the general consensus from my female friends is that stimulating the clit is the best way to do it.  Now you’ve been told by a gay man how to touch a woman properly.  Hah!

This post is only relevant because people keep searching these terms and ending up with my blog.  So I may as well answer the damned question.

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Does Gay Love Exist? Sunday, Nov 2 2008

This has no bearing on my current relationship, which is going quite well in case you were wondering.

I’d really like to know whether or not “true” gay love exists.  Okay, I’m kind of cheating because I’m currently wondering if true love in general exists.  But in order to explore this question, I should probably begin by qualifying the term “true love.”  Having taken a philosophy of love course my freshman year at UGA, I could probably tell you a few different interpretations of what love is.  Hormones, equality, a mythological manifestation in the form of Eros.  Whatever.  First of all, I’m going to give what my definition of love is while trying to avoid trite and cliched things that you see on Precious Moments figurines and kitten posters.

For me, Adam Carpenter, “true” love is the complete relinquishing of the self to another. Well, okay, so that’s a little rough.  The act of loving is the act of completely relinquishing the self to another.  Love itself is the revelation of completion in another.

I know a lot of people will have a problem with my definition.  I come from a society that encourages independence.  Individual effort is the ultimate act, and individual reward is the ultimate goal.  So is my definition anachronistic?  Is it so wrong to completely abandon yourself to the happiness that you feel with another person?  Well, not abandon, but to be happiest when you’re with someone and unhappy when you’re not with him/her/them?

I understand the justification for not having a definition like mine.  Divorce rates are high.  Break up rates are higher, though statistically unrecorded.  Is it fear that keeps people from loving?  “True” loving?  Adam’s definition of “true” loving?

Perhaps this is simply a sad idealization of what love is or what it should be.  Maybe I’m just a silly romantic who needs to learn to compromise my notions of love in order to live a realistic life, but I’d like to get others’ opinions on love.  What is it?  Can people achieve it?  And let’s please keep this discussion secular, if possible.

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