This has no bearing on my current relationship, which is going quite well in case you were wondering.
I’d really like to know whether or not “true” gay love exists. Okay, I’m kind of cheating because I’m currently wondering if true love in general exists. But in order to explore this question, I should probably begin by qualifying the term “true love.” Having taken a philosophy of love course my freshman year at UGA, I could probably tell you a few different interpretations of what love is. Hormones, equality, a mythological manifestation in the form of Eros. Whatever. First of all, I’m going to give what my definition of love is while trying to avoid trite and cliched things that you see on Precious Moments figurines and kitten posters.
For me, Adam Carpenter, “true” love is the complete relinquishing of the self to another. Well, okay, so that’s a little rough. The act of loving is the act of completely relinquishing the self to another. Love itself is the revelation of completion in another.
I know a lot of people will have a problem with my definition. I come from a society that encourages independence. Individual effort is the ultimate act, and individual reward is the ultimate goal. So is my definition anachronistic? Is it so wrong to completely abandon yourself to the happiness that you feel with another person? Well, not abandon, but to be happiest when you’re with someone and unhappy when you’re not with him/her/them?
I understand the justification for not having a definition like mine. Divorce rates are high. Break up rates are higher, though statistically unrecorded. Is it fear that keeps people from loving? “True” loving? Adam’s definition of “true” loving?
Perhaps this is simply a sad idealization of what love is or what it should be. Maybe I’m just a silly romantic who needs to learn to compromise my notions of love in order to live a realistic life, but I’d like to get others’ opinions on love. What is it? Can people achieve it? And let’s please keep this discussion secular, if possible.
